Many people find it more enjoyable to start with their regular penmanship rather than an exemplar. By adjusting one letter at a time, they can morph their own penmanship into something that is both enjoyable to write and pleasing to the eye.
You can start by looking at the ascenders and descenders and choosing a proportion that pleases your eye. Maybe you just need to shorten them, or lengthen them and make them consistent.
Then you can look at other letters that are similar and see where you have inconsistencies - and adjust them. For example, you might have inconsistent widths in the n and m. Slow down and make them consistent.
With a letter like r - it does not really compare to any other letter, so look at it and see if you are making a nice shape that compliments the others. Often times the r loses the subtle detail in the ear and and little jog at the top.
As you refine each letter, keep an eye on the spacing and consistency of the slant.
Slow down.
Find a rhythm that feels good.
Spencerian is a nice running hand that can be a lot of fun, but if none of your current penmanship is even remotely like those shapes, you will be trying to force all kinds of new elements onto an activity that is already imprinted on your memory.
It is a lot easier to refine your current penmanship.
Trust me, I have coached any number of people who were frustrated with calligraphy and had better results when they just worked on their penmanship.
If you have time to send me a scan or photo of your current penmanship, I would be happy to show you where I think you could start with some refinement that might be enjoyable. Just send it in a private message. Or directly to jmwilson411 (at) yahoo -dot- com
I've noted your comments about giving up - and it kept going through my head --well, its not like he's going to stop writing.
Once your eye has been drawn to pretty penmanship you can never un-see what you have seen. So, assuming you will still be writing from time to time, it is entirely possible that you can refine your penmanship so that whatever you write, with whatever kind of pen or pencil - will please your eye..
The only students I have found who were not able to refine their penmanship were people who had medical conditions that caused shakiness and people who were in their 80s and had never done anything that required fine motor skills. Although, I think they could have changed their penmanship if it had been something that interested them. As they were not getting very good results, we switched to making flowery patterns and designs which got some very nice results - faster.
If there are other frustrated people who want to work on their penmanship, I would be willing to help. Although, I will be out of town Aug 18 through Sept 10 and will not be able to post much during that time. If someone is willing to post to the forum, it could be a good demonstration for others to see how the process works.