Critique

[fderk]

Hello Flourish Forum,

long time no see for me here. But I got into calligraphy again.
I'm trying to improve my broad edge pen calligraphy by now.
It's hard for me to improve visually by now on my own, so I'm asking you all for direly needed help on my letters and overall style/calligraphy. I'm autodidactically learning for books and the internet so far.

Hopefully there will be one or two of you finding time to critique my below posted work, which is inspired by the Show&Tell section's post from Aman (credits to that beautiful work there).
It would be to kind, if you could set up some sort of a to-do-list for me, that i can work upon.

I'm certainly no pro in calligraphy. This is my broad edge pen skills which have been re-enhancing for maybe about six or seven weeks after a year or so of pausing. So please don't be too picky about this one.
My Calligraphy Journey just has begun again. But this time it's serious!

Best Greetings from Germany,
F. Derks

[InkyFingers]

Beautiful shading.  I love it.  I am in no way critiquing that!  I need help myself.
Let me take an attempt to replicate your exemplar.

[fderk]

First of all thanks a lot.

This is what I love about calligraphy and this forum. It's so awesome, that even though I have seen the quote three times now, it always looks different and each interpretation has its own character.

If I might be in the position to give you an advice, it would be to look out at the f's that you don't cross the moves you make. Then there won't be that thin little darker line in the middle. For me this would smooth out the otherwise (to me) very balanced style. I think your attempt is brilliant. Especially i like the lower strokes you make look so equal when it comes to the E C T combination in the word PERFECT.

Maybe someone more experienced will step in and give us both a more experienced advice.:-)

[jeanwilson]

I have very little experience with blackletter/gothic - but can offer critique if I see the exemplar you are using.
As always, I look at the space between words. The space between wait-for-the looks correct to me.
The rest of the spaces look too wide.
If you post the exemplar we can look at the proportions of the straight vertical strokes to the smaller diagonal stokes.
My first impression was that the angle of the nib was making the straight strokes narrower and the diagonal strokes wider than what we usually see - but - we won't know until we see the exemplar. Sometimes the diagonal strokes are heavier.

You have all kinds of consistency going on, which is a very good thing. The overall texture of the writing is very nice. Nice flourishes, too.

[fderk]

Thanks a lot. The advice with the spaces is something I am going to add up my hit-list.

I don't understand what you mean by saying 'the exemplar'.
Do you mean the nib I used or the alphabet?
Sorry that I must ask.
But your critique is fairly precise besides that. I am going to take these things into consideration in further practice.

Thank you.

[jeanwilson]

Yes, the exemplar is the specific example of the alphabet that you are looking at. It makes a big difference when critiquing to know what example is being used. The word *exemplar* is not a common word and if anyone can offer a different word that is more common - that would be very helpful.

Also, I hesitate to make too many comments on a post in the *Kind Critique* section because some people are mostly looking for a cheerleader - which is fine. I like to cheer on anyone who is working on their penmanship. But, other people really do want specific details. Since you are OK with the things I did mention, I will add another comment that might seem picky, but it did jump out at me. The dots over the letter i are generally closer to the straight stroke and also centered over it.

Your nib is at the correct angle when you are sliding it to make the thinnest strokes. That is another area where you have good consistency - they are very crisp.

Let me know if you want a couple more comments on a couple very tiny details. I do not want this to be too picky.
And hopefully, you can post a picture of the example or exemplar that you are using.

[fderk]

Thank you again for pointing at the i dots. By myself I would never have noticed them. Indeed now it looks at bit strange.
Another point on my list then!

I'm glad for any tip I can get, since I have no 'teacher'. Please continue to point at things. This helps a lot, to leave my narrowminded view. I would like to invite you to be picky, as this will help the most. I want to improve, not to be cherished when there is no reason for it.

As for the alphabet, this is from 'David Harris, Das große Handbuch der Kalligraphie, 100 Alphabete mit genauen Anleitungen, p. 118.' I made some adjustments by myself when I was not particularly convinced of the form.
I'm not sure about Copyright and such things, so by now I can't post a picture of that alphabet, since I would then publish a page from the book. I hope you understand me being worried about this.

[InkyFingers]

I see where I got confused, you are using David Harris Fraktur hand.  It is most pleasing.

I am currently learning from a more ancient hand.. Neudörfer (or Neudörffer), Johannes der Ältere whom had a student Wolfgang Fugger.

Both master's manual can be found easily in Deutsche.  I liked it that Wolfgang separates the different styles of Fraktur in the example below.

[fderk]

These are interesting pages. Especially the pure one on the first page is very pleasing for me. I will be testing this out soon.
Are you interested in a try out picture?

Is there an online resource for these books?
I know that there must be, and I have seen some old book posted as a link here in the forum, but I can't recall and still am easily confused by all the material given.

[InkyFingers]

I trusted that your Deutsche is much better than mine.

I recommend using one manual.  Stay with it until you have gotten some mastery with it.  Then look around, you will see things very clearly.  There are so many script that is beauty to the eye, fear not, you will learn them, but only one at a time.

Most of all ENJOY.


https://bildsuche.digitale-sammlungen.de/index.html?c=viewer&lv=1&bandnummer=bsb00089557&pimage=00001&suchbegriff=&l=fr