Anyone ever said this to you?

[Suzie L]

Erica - WOW! That's impressive! Eagerly waiting for Dasherie to come out!

[Milonguera]

Brad, a very good, life-long friend said that to me when I first started with calligraphy and I felt hurt and mystified.  Then I thought about her and her approach to most things is practical, efficient and expedient.  Some people just don't have an eye to the process of creating art, so my advice is to only take their view with a grain of salt. 

I also dance Argentine tango and in so many ways, it's a lot like learning calligraphy.  Most people who don't dance it immediately think of Dancing With The Stars and other ballroom competitions.  Argentine tango is a social dance and is danced for the pleasure of the dancers--competition doesn't enter into the picture.  (There are competitions within the ballroom community but I'm talking about the social, original form of the dance.  Competition is not what the core experience is about.)  Not everybody appreciates that.  I think it's the same with calligraphy.  There are experienced calligraphers, talented artists who do calligraphy and people who just enjoy looking at and want to try to create something beautiful and IMNSHO, that's a valid calling. 

[FrenchBlue Joy]

"The art of calligraphy has been twice killed by a mechanical invention and has twice found a new set of justifications. As an industry for the manual copying of texts, it was destroyed by the printing press. As an essential tool of commerce and finance and an evidence of gentility, it flourished for three centuries and was strangled by the typewriter. In its third and present lifetime it stands with the fine arts, safe from any further technological threat."

This is the perfect quote!  I love it so much.  Thanks for sharing it.

[Faeleia]

Actually, I'm pretty much a loner. I don't make friends easily at all. I have 2 friends, one I email in the US and 1 I know for 10+ years. I've only gone out twice to meet that 1 friend this year, and the rest of the time I hole up at home doing stuff I like. Because I don't really like going out, I like to ask about the 'outside world' from my outgoing friend. She's concerned I'm lonely and I guess I look quite pathetic in her eyes.

When I told her about my calligraphy interest, she didn't comment much on it specifically, but she said it's hard for people to want to know me because my interests are too different from others, and it seems to hint that if I continue to insist on being different I'll end up forever alone. LOL. We then discussed about furthering studies, and I suggested why not learn more English? Singapore uses English as our official language, and it's always good to brush up and improve on an existing skill to the best level, but she said it was kind of insulting to her intellect to be learning English. Hahah What would she think if I told her I'm learning to do strokes and circles.. that would have been the greatest form of insult in her eyes!

I suppose that's the cue point to start wallowing in self pity, but I've done that kind of thing for a long time & it's like been there done that. Rather than wonder why I can't make friends in Singapore because I've collected too many weird interests, I choose to focus my attention on learning things. I just like to learn about everything! Waiting for people to like me seems like a waste of time, if I can use that limited time to self improve instead. Who cares if people thinks calligraphy is lame and a font? I and you all here see the beauty in Calligraphy, and that matters. Now I think it's okay if in a lifetime one doesn't necessarily find their BFFs or soul mate or soul pet, but being good company and investing in one self seems like a good practical choice.

[Moya]

Actually, I'm pretty much a loner. I don't make friends easily at all. I have 2 friends, one I email in the US and 1 I know for 10+ years. I've only gone out twice to meet that 1 friend this year, and the rest of the time I hole up at home doing stuff I like. Because I don't really like going out, I like to ask about the 'outside world' from my outgoing friend. She's concerned I'm lonely and I guess I look quite pathetic in her eyes.

When I told her about my calligraphy interest, she didn't comment much on it specifically, but she said it's hard for people to want to know me because my interests are too different from others, and it seems to hint that if I continue to insist on being different I'll end up forever alone. LOL. We then discussed about furthering studies, and I suggested why not learn more English? Singapore uses English as our official language, and it's always good to brush up and improve on an existing skill to the best level, but she said it was kind of insulting to her intellect to be learning English. Hahah What would she think if I told her I'm learning to do strokes and circles.. that would have been the greatest form of insult in her eyes!

I suppose that's the cue point to start wallowing in self pity, but I've done that kind of thing for a long time & it's like been there done that. Rather than wonder why I can't make friends in Singapore because I've collected too many weird interests, I choose to focus my attention on learning things. I just like to learn about everything! Waiting for people to like me seems like a waste of time, if I can use that limited time to self improve instead. Who cares if people thinks calligraphy is lame and a font? I and you all here see the beauty in Calligraphy, and that matters. Now I think it's okay if in a lifetime one doesn't necessarily find their BFFs or soul mate or soul pet, but being good company and investing in one self seems like a good practical choice.

Faeleia, you aren't alone!  I think it's hard for everyone who has different and obscure interests.  And calligraphy can be quite a lonely hobby, if you can't join a society or a guild (but if you can, then definitely do!).

I know that especially when I was younger, I really struggled to make friends.  I spent a lot of time just kind of locked inside myself, because I didn't think anyone else would understand me.  But it turns out that as you get older (and I'm not very old!!) it becomes much easier - once you are at peace with who you are, which it sounds like you are, then the friendships and loved ones just seem to happen.  It turns out that pretty much everyone feels alone ...

I think you are choosing exactly the right path.  Don't worry about what you feel like society thinks you "should" be doing - do what makes you happy and what makes you feel like your time isn't wasted.  Everything else will come.  People will be more drawn to be your friend if you're secure and confident in yourself anyway. ♥

[AndyT]

Faeleia, just stick to your own thing and never mind what other people get up to.  In order to be a well integrated conformist right now I should be taking an interest in something called the World Cup, and I really can't think of anything more lame than that. 

[Starlee]

Faeleia (I think I wrote your name Felicia in another post, sorry!) - you are not alone. So many other people go through what you have been in their own way. I have been a bookworm since before I even knew how to read (literally...mom says I used to copy the dictionary before I knew what I was writing). I was always top of my class, my name is Star (endless torment in a small-world town), and adults seemed to like me...not a good cocktail for making friends when you're a kid. It wasn't until my last couple years of high school that I met a small group of friends that I cherish to this day (at 36). Even now, I chose a profession (research) that essentially keeps me isolated, but the best part of it, is that I get to never stop learning! It took me a long time to come to terms with this, but: I LOVE TO BE ALONE! Small talk is a nightmare to me. I don't mind being social, but I usually need to double my alone time afterwards. I am ok with not making friends easily, because I know that the ones that I do befriend, will likely be lifelong mates. And if not, they helped me learn something about myself at time.

I hope this helps you in your life's journey Faeleia. You have friends here too, if you'll let us be.

[Blotbot]

Sounds like we are a community of introverts!  Me too!

[Nickkih]

I think I've always been introverted and outgoing. I loved hanging out with friends but I have my limit. I think as my health has declined in the last few years I've pulled back more from people because having to explain what's wrong over and over again is exhausting in itself. And to tell you the truth I struggled for a while with all the alone time but since getting back into calligraphy last year that changed. Now I can't wait to be alone so I can practice and make pretty things for people. That is the best therapy. But I understand a few friends that I have don't understand. They kinda look down on me for it (obviously I don't have lunch with them too often)  but I don't care. My journey is different than theirs and I'm at the age where I just don't care anymore what people think. My friends that are really my friends get it. My family loves it too. My daughter said to me the other day how happy she is to see me finally doing something that brings me so much joy. My sons and husband encourages me too. So I say Hell with those that don't get us. And love and embrace those that do. It's not like we are selling crack on the corner, we are using our minds, our hearts and our gifts that God gave us to create beautiful things. That in and of itself is AWESOME!

[Starlee]

@Nickkih - friends are not supposed to look down on you, but are supposed to lift you up....like you said, your real friends get it...even if they didn't, real friends provide support, not shake one's foundation. I'm so happy that you have found your happy place in calligraphy

[Faeleia]

Faeleia (I think I wrote your name Felicia in another post, sorry!) - you are not alone. So many other people go through what you have been in their own way. I have been a bookworm since before I even knew how to read (literally...mom says I used to copy the dictionary before I knew what I was writing). I was always top of my class, my name is Star (endless torment in a small-world town), and adults seemed to like me...not a good cocktail for making friends when you're a kid. It wasn't until my last couple years of high school that I met a small group of friends that I cherish to this day (at 36). Even now, I chose a profession (research) that essentially keeps me isolated, but the best part of it, is that I get to never stop learning! It took me a long time to come to terms with this, but: I LOVE TO BE ALONE! Small talk is a nightmare to me. I don't mind being social, but I usually need to double my alone time afterwards. I am ok with not making friends easily, because I know that the ones that I do befriend, will likely be lifelong mates. And if not, they helped me learn something about myself at time.

I hope this helps you in your life's journey Faeleia. You have friends here too, if you'll let us be.

Hi Star, Felicia IS my name I don't mind being alone at all. And Andy, I don't care about world cup either... In fact, why people would pay millions for people who specialize in using legs to snatch a ball is beyond me  Small talk is my idea of a nightmare, and don't introverts hate just going all

'How are you!'
'Good!'
'Great!'
'Nice!'
'Awesome!'
''K bye!'
'Bye!'

Deepest heart to heart ever.

To chat with strangers about nothing important in particular.. I can't do it! I wouldn't know what to say! It took me a while to come to terms that being a loner is going to come at some cost, but I actually like it I may be socially awkward, but the wealth of information I can learn from reading is so worth the exchange

I shared my story to hopefully let Brad know that people not understanding our interest is not uncommon.

Do you know that people bond better not over common interests, but the strongest bonds are from people with common problems? 

[Brad franklin]

I understand Faeleia. And on a side note when I am around people I wont talk unless I have something to say, I just don't flap my gums to impress anyone. In fact new people think I am stuckup, which is far from the truth.

[Starlee]

Despite my rant on love being alone, I've had to travel alone for work, and I love it. One of the reasons though is because I actually like to go out and meet random strangers. This may seem weird for an introvert, but I love finding a cool bar with excellent beer on tap and striking up conversations with strangers. I have had some of the most stimulating conversations with wonderful people that I know I will never see again. This may seem weird, but I truly believe that everyone has a story to tell, and will tell it if given the chance. There is so much to learn from others, that despite my introverted tendencies, I do put myself out there now and then (this forum included, I'm not used to this, but I'm loving it!). Felicia, you nailed it with the small talk though. When people ask 'how are you?' in passing, they rarely truly care, usually they just want to hear 'good!' so they can continue on their way. It is such pointless mindless waste of breaths, but on the flip side, it would be rude to not acknowledge someone you know in passing. I find a smile and simple hello goes a long way though.

[Nickkih]

Faeleia (I think I wrote your name Felicia in another post, sorry!) - you are not alone. So many other people go through what you have been in their own way. I have been a bookworm since before I even knew how to read (literally...mom says I used to copy the dictionary before I knew what I was writing). I was always top of my class, my name is Star (endless torment in a small-world town), and adults seemed to like me...not a good cocktail for making friends when you're a kid. It wasn't until my last couple years of high school that I met a small group of friends that I cherish to this day (at 36). Even now, I chose a profession (research) that essentially keeps me isolated, but the best part of it, is that I get to never stop learning! It took me a long time to come to terms with this, but: I LOVE TO BE ALONE! Small talk is a nightmare to me. I don't mind being social, but I usually need to double my alone time afterwards. I am ok with not making friends easily, because I know that the ones that I do befriend, will likely be lifelong mates. And if not, they helped me learn something about myself at time.


I hope this helps you in your life's journey Faeleia. You have friends here too, if you'll let us be.

Hi Star, Felicia IS my name I don't mind being alone at all. And Andy, I don't care about world cup either... In fact, why people would pay millions for people who specialize in using legs to snatch a ball is beyond me  Small talk is my idea of a nightmare, and don't introverts hate just going all

'How are you!'
'Good!'
'Great!'
'Nice!'
'Awesome!'
''K bye!'
'Bye!'

Deepest heart to heart ever.

To chat with strangers about nothing important in particular.. I can't do it! I wouldn't know what to say! It took me a while to come to terms that being a loner is going to come at some cost, but I actually like it I may be socially awkward, but the wealth of information I can learn from reading is so worth the exchange

I shared my story to hopefully let Brad know that people not understanding our interest is not uncommon.

Do you know that people bond better not over common interests, but the strongest bonds are from people with common problems? 

I also HATE small talk. Real or nothing is the way I feel about it. If you ask me a question I will answer you honestly because when I ask I really want truth too. So I stay away from people like that. In that way I'm totally stuck up. But I don't care. I raised 3 beautiful smart kids so I feel I've reached the age where I can be that way. If that makes any sense. I have nothing to prove anymore. I did the hardest job in the world and I was successful. Lol

When I used to travel for business I was like Starlee. I loved random conversations with people about their lives. Usually in the hotel bar. I find people fascinating in that setting. I do miss that.

My "so called friend" that is judgemental is part of a group of ladies I adore. I just don't like her because she is fake. But I will endure a few hours to be with these other remarkable woman.

Anyway that's all 😍😊😉

[Julia K-P]

Ladys and gentlemen, it is art. Not everyone understands art. They are dimwits. We are not.