I would get a piece of paper, then cut it to your envelope size, and experiment.
Try different heights for the address and return address, till you feel comfortable with a particular height.
For me, it is really what the finished product looks like. I don't really care that what I do may not match what I see on the internet, because everyone has their own opinion. It has to look good and balanced to ME, or in your case to YOU.
Example, the standard guidelines may use a 4 or 5mm spacing, but you may find that you like a 4.5mm spacing. So use a 4.5mm spacing.
And don't be afraid of using different heights, I use one height for the return address and a larger height for the recipients address.
I have also seen several envelopes where the recipients name on the address is taller than the rest of the address, and it looked good.
Tip: Keep a set of alternate recipients guideline in your pocket
- For people with LONG names, where you have to write smaller than usual to fit their name in the space you have.
- Or where you may have to put their names on 2 lines.