Hi Andrew! You are off to a good start. I was lucky to see a sample in person just yesterday

Keep practicing and studying....the usual, but it matters! I do want to say though that your ink seems not quite the right combination...either in gum arabic or with this paper....your lines are rather thick and in this case I don't think it is your nib or your hand...I think it's an ink and/or paper issue. The reason I bring this up is that it can interfere with your learning feedback: you might not get the exact look you are hoping to get and it won't necessarily because of your skill with driving the pen.
Unfortunately, I am not an ink expert and would not even know where to guide you on how to fix this particular ink. I typically use Moonpalace Sumi and occasionally iron gall and gouache.