Flourish Forum
Tutorials => Kind Critique => Topic started by: Ashk on December 16, 2017, 06:40:21 AM
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Hello everyone , this is my first post including work , I have been practicing copperplate since 18 months now. I have refered work on YouTube and did what I could at my best , please do suggest the area's I need to improve on .
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Lovely.
"If there is a knower of tongues here, fetch him;
There's a stranger in the city
And he has many things to say."
-----Asad
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thank you very much @AnasaziWrites . its a pleasure to receive your comment..
Can any one comment or point out areas where i need improvement.
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Can any one comment or point out areas where i need improvement.
Perhaps @Salman Khattak will comment. He is eminently qualified to do so.
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Salman will have to weigh in on the actual letterforms. I am happy to talk about the amount of space between words since most people leave a bit more than what you see in traditional samples of writing. My scans are too big to post to the forum, so I have put them on my nibs.and.ink blog. It is a blog I use to communicate with people about topics that come up either in classes or on the forum. It is a real hodgepodge of information, but useful for posting images.
I think the examples and comments will be self explanatory.
https://nibsandink.blogspot.com/2017/12/word-spacing.html
I guess I do have another suggestion. If you find an example of work off the IAMPETH website that is perfect in every way, you might enjoy tracing it once and then try reproducing it exactly as it is written without tracing. The tracing will give you a bit of muscle memory which usually makes the non-traced version nearly perfect. There is something very satisfying about creating a duplicate of something that looks way beyond your skill level. Focusing on every single detail can be eye-opening.
The sample I chose has lighter weight shades than your work. You can adjust the weight if you only like the heavier weight. Down the road, you will probably want to be able to write in a variety of weights and slants. I think the degree of slant on the sample is different from yours.
Your work is very impressive. Going through the lessons that Salman offers would most likely resolve any of the minor issues that you are having.
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Thank you so much @Anastasizhe and @jeanwilson its a pleasure to receive your replies. Eagerly waiting for @Salman Khattak to spare some of his valuable to guide me.
In the mean while working on the spacing lesson shared by @jeanwilson . thank you so much once again
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Hi Ash - sorry it took me a while to get to it but here I am :-)
You have a very nice script that will server you quite well as is. There is always room for improvement and I am more than happy to provide feedback on the formal shapes of the letters if that is the direction you want to go. Most of your work is loose and flourished but I think a little bit of attention to the structure of the letters will make your work even better.
I will provide my feedback based on the 'I never knew a life...' piece.
- The 'i' stroke (also used in l,b,t,w,u) should taper only in the last third or so of the x-height. The left side of the shaded stroke should taper towards the right while the right side should remain aligned the slant. A number of the 'i' strokes in this example start to taper too early resulting in wedge shaped shades. The 'i' stroke should hit the base line just a little to the right of the right side of the shaded stroke.
- The 'o' stroke in inconsistent in width. Look at the word 'echo' on line 6. The 'e' and 'c' are too rounded.
- The 'o' is generally shaped beautifully, however, the shade tends to start on the top right side of 'o' when it should start just a little below the waist line on the left side.
- The ascender loops are fighting the slant. Both ascender and descender loops should match the slant of the letters. If you draw a line splitting the loop vertically in half, you should not be too far off from the slant. Also, your loops should come down to meet the stem stroke at about the waist line - a number of yours are ending above the waist line giving the counter a rounder shape.
- The 's' and 'r' are too tall. They should extend no more than 1/3 of the x-height above the waist line.
- The compound stroke (the last stroke in 'n', 'h', 'm' etc.) tends to be thinner than the shaded strokes around them. Also, the top part should match the bottom - yours are thinner at the top.
- The dot of the 'i' should be level with the top of the 't' - this way it will not interfere with the crossbar when the two letters are written next to each other.
These are some of the things that jump out in terms of the letter forms but I hope they will give you an idea of what to look for. You are very skilled. I don't expect it would take you long to refine your script.
- Salman
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Hello every one and back with some work I tried to improve with the help of @jeanwilson and @Salman Khattak , may be I have mistaken at the same places again , but am focusing on given guidelines as much as I can too improve . Please comment .
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These looks just Fab Ash!
And with @AnasaziWrites, @jeanwilson & @Salman Khattak giving their valuable suggestion I think you should follow them to the minutest of the details.
Keep writing,
-Ashok
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Congratulations.
Your work should be an inspiration to anyone who is just getting started.
My comments were about word spacing and your word spacing looks much better.
Regarding line spacing --- you have done a good job of overlapping your ascenders and descenders where it is necessary. Some scribes will delay forming the descenders until they have finished the entire piece. By doing that, you can see where you will have an overlap and then nudge an ascender to the right or left to avoid a clumsy overlap. After the whole piece is done, you can go back and put in the descenders. There are some variations in descenders that you might consider when you are overlapping.
Keep up the good work and keep posting inspiration.
Please remind us when you started.
There are so many newcomers and it is helpful for people to see how quickly someone can progress.
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You've already received great feedback so I just want to say Bravo - beautiful work! Thank you for sharing with us!
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What an inspiration, Ashk, beautiful work!