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General Categories => Open Flourish | General Discussion => Topic started by: schin on June 25, 2014, 11:48:13 PM

Title: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: schin on June 25, 2014, 11:48:13 PM
A-hem...

Chillin' on the secretary table, tryin' not ta catch a nib, I'd rather catch a beat
But everywhere I go seems trouble follows me
But if you feel like I feel lil scribe follow me
But this penwoman wants battle so blood-ink it gotta be
Sorry engrossers but that's how it gotta be
Yeah, that's how it gotta be...

Look
I kill penmen before I even hear the pen drop
I smoke calligraphers like nibs in the sweet spot
You been cold scribe, me - me I'm still hot
Whether I'm dashin the word or oblique in this same spot
You been got, you have not, you bleed through, you just spot
I'm Principality right, you barely even Speedball
I can get you splattered, just gotta give the say so
Your nib supplier keep callin even though I said no ho
Say she want a real script, but I ain't really feelin it
Still chillin' on this Rhodia, in a minute I be killin it
First I letcha build heat, then I be spillin it:
Magnussons, McCaffreys, Clairefontaine,
I live for the glory, you died for the fame
I burn you in flames, my inkwell go insane, from broad pen to ladies hand, your flow way too tame
Please step off my level, you can't catch my game
I make nibs tremble, you make 'em complain
I never stopped ornamentaling', like Daniel Ames
Like Louis Madarasz, it's the kill penmen cycle
I kill scripts wash scripts rinse and recycle
Bangin' on your guidelines like I'm bangin on the beat, like I'm calligraffitin' on the street
So your script you can keep, cuz your font is weak
Ha
Read it and weep!!

-----
disclaimer: I may or may not just have copied a popular rap song and replaced all the words LOL
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Moya on June 26, 2014, 12:15:34 AM
May I have your attention please?
 May I have your attention please?
 Will the real Schin Shady please stand up?
 I repeat, will the real Schin Shady please stand up?
 We're gonna have a problem here..
 
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Nickkih on June 26, 2014, 12:21:49 AM
Omg Schin that was AWESOME! I heard Eminem raping it. Sweet!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: ultraQuiche on June 26, 2014, 12:39:21 AM
May I have your attention please?
 May I have your attention please?
 Will the real Schin Shady please stand up?
 I repeat, will the real Schin Shady please stand up?
 We're gonna have a problem here..

Shady Schin is better.
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Moya on June 26, 2014, 12:48:37 AM
Shady Schin is better.

Doesn't scan as well though.

Are you a Korra watcher?  Shady S(c)hin:
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Linda Y. on June 26, 2014, 02:19:47 AM
Didn't Erica say she's an Eminem fan?! This is going to blow her mind!!

Well done, Schin Shady, well done.  8)
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: ultraQuiche on June 26, 2014, 02:30:54 AM
I thought it might be an obscure reference I didn't recognise!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: patweecia on June 26, 2014, 02:36:03 AM
hahaha this is so cool schin! 
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Moya on June 26, 2014, 02:38:03 AM
If you're having pen problems I feel bad for you, Schin,
 I got 99 problems but a pen ain't one
 
 I got the Quiche brigade and the Schin parade
 Foes that wanna make sure my hair's all greyed
 Pen critics that say my letters all upside down,
 I'm an Aussie, you guys, don't make me frown
 If you grew up in the terra australis
 You'd know how the ink flows, yeah, get this

 I'm like hey cynics, you can kiss my whole butt,
 If you don't like my writing you can do your own stuff
 Got beef with brides if I don't write their words
 They don't pay my rates, well I don't give a turd
 Wedding mags try and use my poor script
 So brides can give em more cash for it ... f****rs
 I don't know what you take me as
 or understand the letter skillz that Moya has
 From Gothic to Uncial, ladies, I ain't dumb
 I got 99 problems but a pen ain't one
 Hit me
 
99 problems but a pen ain't one
If you're having pen problems I feel bad for you, son,
I got 99 problems but a pen ain't one

 
***all disses are not meant seriously because I think Schin and Quiche are awesome***
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Heebs on June 26, 2014, 02:39:50 AM
Oh my god...this is the greatest thread ever  8)
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: tintenfuchs on June 26, 2014, 03:05:32 AM
AWESOME!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: tintenfuchs on June 26, 2014, 03:14:28 AM
Man,
I know I'd be just as good as y'all
It's fate's interfering with my speedball.
My pussy's lying on my table yo
Spillin' da ink with its furry paw
My man keeps wanting to talk to me
Don't let me unpack my McCaffery
The kids keep whinin' for food
They don't get writin's just as good!

I just know I could take y'all
If fate just don't kick away my speedball!

My boss keeps tellin me, "girl!
Do this and to that", man, I'll hurl
Ain't got no time
To write or to rhyme

But, hey,
I just know I could take y'all
It's fate keepin me in its thrall!
It's fate, yo
It's fate, yo

PS: My pussy is on my table, seriously. No obscenity intended.
(https://theflourishforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fphotos-g.ak.instagram.com%2Fhphotos-ak-xpa1%2F10513792_309192422580062_1027401578_n.jpg&hash=72e6f0c60789a8078f089b799ec69690)

Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Moya on June 26, 2014, 03:21:11 AM
PS: My pussy is on my table, seriously. No obscenity intended.

oh my god I laughed so stupidly hard at my desk!!! this thread is giving me LIFE.
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: schin on June 26, 2014, 03:21:33 AM
LOL I'm dying of laughter... Erica's gonna wake up and be like wtf is happening to my forum..
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: schin on June 26, 2014, 03:26:08 AM
Omg Schin that was AWESOME! I heard Eminem raping it. Sweet!

Dang I hope not.. this is a clean rap diss, no rapings allowed!  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: ultraQuiche on June 26, 2014, 03:31:29 AM

***all disses are not meant seriously because I think Schin and Quiche are awesome***

Surely you don't expect us to reciprocate that after this.

Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: ultraQuiche on June 26, 2014, 03:37:59 AM

PS: My pussy is on my table, seriously. No obscenity intended.
(https://theflourishforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fphotos-g.ak.instagram.com%2Fhphotos-ak-xpa1%2F10513792_309192422580062_1027401578_n.jpg&hash=72e6f0c60789a8078f089b799ec69690)

Hurr hrmmm hrmm hrr

Don't get moe furry den dat playa!!


 _=__________________________-
  /  ////  (____)  R K B A____ |
 _|_////_________________(____|
    )/  o  /) /  )/
   (/     /)__\_))
  (/     /)
 (/     /)
(/_ o _/)
--------


Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Moya on June 26, 2014, 03:43:01 AM

***all disses are not meant seriously because I think Schin and Quiche are awesome***

Surely you don't expect us to reciprocate that after this.

You can't touch this
You can't touch this
You can't touch this
 
Break it down
Stop, Moya time
 
Every time you see me
The Moya's just the best
I'm dope on the lightbox and I'm magic on the desk
 
Now why would I ever stop doing this?
With others making' writings that just don't hit
I've toured around the town, from Coburg to Fitzroy
It's "Moya, go Moya, MC Moya, yo, Moya"
And the rest can go and play
 
You can't touch this!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Estefa on June 26, 2014, 03:48:52 AM
Hahaha, my morning was ugly, and I am not even into rap, but I was also nearly lying on the table for laughing so hard :D!!! You're great gals!! (I have no idea if anyone really says "gals" but forgive me as a non-native speaker ;D)! — And guys, sorry Quiche!!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Faeleia on June 26, 2014, 03:54:25 AM
*Rallies the crowd* Yo yo check this out, we got a new underground rap chick here to throw a hoedown! Any contenders to take on The Real Schin Shady?

Be whippin, flippin, slippin the paper,
slicin, dicing, dramatizin',
the flourish master come,
free flow style, tines adriftin!


Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: tintenfuchs on June 26, 2014, 04:04:34 AM
tines adriftin!
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: patweecia on June 26, 2014, 05:18:27 AM
woohoo!!! epic rap-off in the forum :)
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: AndyT on June 26, 2014, 05:43:53 AM
... forgive me as a non-native speaker ;D)!

I don't think I am either.  No idea what's going on here - these people appear to be talking Jive.   :)
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Estefa on June 26, 2014, 06:35:31 AM
Hahaha nice one, Andy ;D!!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Nickkih on June 26, 2014, 09:12:47 AM
HOLY CRAP ON A STICK.!!! Im on the floor with laughter at 6am in the morning. 😊 perfect way to start the day. It's the calligraphers Comedy Central and the calligraphers Rap channel all in one. 😍😍😍😍 I love all of you.
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Blotbot on June 26, 2014, 10:00:50 AM
Now I want to see all of that in calligraphy by tomorrow morning. 
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Moya on June 26, 2014, 10:08:01 AM
Oh no way Ellen, it's taken me five hours just to get that stupid MC Hammer song out of my head - I'm not putting it back in again if you pay me!!! ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Milonguera on June 26, 2014, 10:50:56 AM
A-hem...

Chillin' on the secretary table, tryin' not ta catch a nib, I'd rather catch a beat
But everywhere I go seems trouble follows me
But if you feel like I feel lil scribe follow me
But this penwoman wants battle so blood-ink it gotta be
Sorry engrossers but that's how it gotta be
Yeah, that's how it gotta be...

Look
I kill penmen before I even hear the pen drop
I smoke calligraphers like nibs in the sweet spot
You been cold scribe, me - me I'm still hot
Whether I'm dashin the word or oblique in this same spot
You been got, you have not, you bleed through, you just spot
I'm Principality right, you barely even Speedball
I can get you splattered, just gotta give the say so
Your nib supplier keep callin even though I said no ho
Say she want a real script, but I ain't really feelin it
Still chillin' on this Rhodia, in a minute I be killin it
First I letcha build heat, then I be spillin it:
Magnussons, McCaffreys, Clairefontaine,
I live for the glory, you died for the fame
I burn you in flames, my inkwell go insane, from broad pen to ladies hand, your flow way too tame
Please step off my level, you can't catch my game
I make nibs tremble, you make 'em complain
I never stopped ornamentaling', like Daniel Ames
Like Louis Madarasz, it's the kill penmen cycle
I kill scripts wash scripts rinse and recycle
Bangin' on your guidelines like I'm bangin on the beat, like I'm calligraffitin' on the street
So your script you can keep, cuz your font is weak
Ha
Read it and weep!!

-----
disclaimer: I may or may not just have copied a popular rap song and replaced all the words LOL

Congratulations!  THis is awesome, Schin.  Funny--the thing I wanted to do for the Sumer exchange (my envelopes are done but I don't know what's going in them) was a rap.  But since I don't listen to rap, I got stuck on the first 2 lines.  I know how I'd like it to end, though.  For now I think I'll abandon that idea--your rap is too much.   :D

But what really, TRULY amazes me is the way the community, perhaps any community, almost moves like a school of fish.  It's beautiful and more spontaneous than you'd realize. 

Some know that my husband and I dance Argentine tango--have been since around '98 or '99.  The thing most think of as tango is the stuff of shows.  What we do is purely social and like calligraphy it is a 'language' spoken around the world and an international community.  We could go to most any city and find a milonga (tango dance party) and dance the same dance with a host of new partners.  But in one's home community, it is amazing how many of us will show up at a milonga, wearing something similar as if we'd planned it--it could be a color, a style, pants or dresses.  It happens quite often, mostly among the women, but sometimes the men too, and I wonder how it happens.  For instance, one night almost everyone had on some shade of turquoise or blue or green. 

I'm seeing the same thing in this community and it's fascinating, and it's happened to me several times...  I'll be thinking about something obscure--like a color of ink, or a particular letter...or a rap (can't get more obscure for me than that) and Schin or somebody, goes and does it and posts it.  Anyone know how this happens? 
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Linda Y. on June 26, 2014, 11:46:33 AM
Kickin' it oldschool, yo. LA be representin'.

- - -

With so much drama in da Insta-G
It's kinda hard stickin' to calligraphy
But I, somehow, some way
Keep comin up with funky lettering like every single day
May I, kick a little something for the G's (yeah)
and, make a few ends as (yeah!) I breeze, through
Two in the mornin' and my whole arm's still movin'
cause my momma ain't home

I got JNB supplies in the living room
and, I ain't stoppin' til six in the mornin'
So what you wanna do
I got a pocket full of penholders and my homeboys do too
So turn off the lights and close the doors
But (but what) we don't love them vintage nibs, yeah!
So we gonna flourish the hell outta this bird
G's up, nibs down, while all you penmen bounce to this

Scrollin' down the sheet, smokin' iron gall, slingin' on ink and fumes
Laid back (with my mind on penmanship and penmanship on my mind)
Scrollin' down the sheet, smokin' iron gall, slingin' on ink and fumes
Laid back (with my mind on calligraphy and calligraphy on my mind)

- - -

Peace out.

(this may or may not be inspired by SnoopDogg's "Gin & Juice") ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: tintenfuchs on June 26, 2014, 03:11:26 PM
I got a pocket full of penholders and my homeboys do too

Is that a penholder in your pocket or are you just happy to see me, Linda?  ;D
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Linda Y. on June 26, 2014, 03:23:52 PM
I got a pocket full of penholders and my homeboys do too

Is that a penholder in your pocket or are you just happy to see me, Linda?  ;D


HAHA! Always happy to see you, my friend. I can get a bit more crude but I'll stop here ;D
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: joi on June 26, 2014, 03:42:51 PM
OMG BEST THREAD EVER!!!!!
tears of laughter!!! calligraphers...we are SO multi talented!!
ok here's my fav with a spin...

Ode to Brian Smith

Yo, VIP, Let's Kick it!
ink ink baby, ink ink baby
All right stop, wipe your nib and listen
Brian is back with his brand new invention
Flame maple grabs a hold of him tightly
Works on his lathe daily and nightly
Will he ever stop? Yo, I hope no
Turn off the lights and this oblique will GLOW
To the extreme he shapes a flange like vandal
light up a room with his Spencerian handle

If there was a problem yo he'd solve it
Check out the finish while my Brian revolves it

and i drop the mic...

Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Linda Y. on June 26, 2014, 03:46:00 PM
E P I C ! ! !

I'm reading everyone's contributions multiple times & I am seriously dying here - so, so good.
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: joi on June 26, 2014, 04:12:44 PM
OMG i cannot get the image of Moya in Hammer pants doing typewriter dance out of my mind!!!   HILARIOUS!!!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: ultraQuiche on June 26, 2014, 04:13:28 PM
OMG BEST THREAD EVER!!!!!
tears of laughter!!! calligraphers...we are SO multi talented!!
ok here's my fav with a spin...

Ode to Brian Smith

Yo, VIP, Let's Kick it!
ink ink baby, ink ink baby
All right stop, wipe your nib and listen
Brian is back with his brand new invention
Flame maple grabs a hold of him tightly
Works on his lathe daily and nightly
Will he ever stop? Yo, I hope no
Turn off the lights and this oblique will GLOW
To the extreme he shapes a flange like vandal
light up a room with his Spencerian handle

If there was a problem yo he'd solve it
Check out the finish while my Brian revolves it

and i drop the mic...

Wow wow! Rrmph! Good job joi!!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Unique Obliques on June 26, 2014, 04:14:26 PM
I been hit and I been kicked
Took the high road, head all mixed
Dis'd and slammed against the wall
Time I grew a set of b****
Never liked to bang for fun
But tired of being on the run
Tired of lookin' like I'm yellow
"An order of eggs yo", I said to the fellow
Hardboiled yo, ain't no joke
Can't abide no slimy Yoke

Sorry guys...I just couldn't resist.  I'll behave now. 

Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: joi on June 26, 2014, 04:18:12 PM
awesome awesome awesome!!!
this thread has to go down in some hall of fame somewhere...
we should all perform these at IAMPETH!!!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: schin on June 26, 2014, 04:27:20 PM
Calligraphers... knows how to party
Calligraphers... knows how to party
In the flourish forum of USA
In the flourish forum of good ol' Oz
In the flourish forum, the city of England
We keep it dashy! We keep it slanted!

Now let me welcome everybody to the wild, wild west
A forum that's untouchable like John Decollibus
The script hits ya eyes like a nib to ya chest
Pack an inkwell for your bride in the forum of sex
We in that sunshine studio where that bomb ass flourishes be
The forum where ya never find a secretary desk empty
And scribes be on a mission for them greens
Lean mean envelope-makin-machines servin bride's mothers
I been in the game for ten years makin place cards freak
Ever since honeys was using obliques
Now it's 2014 and they clock me and watch me
Nibs shinin lookin like I robbed Liberace
It's all good, from Diego to tha Bay
Your forum is tha bomb if your script makin way
Throw up a nib if ya feel the same way
Schin puttin it down for
Flourish forum-a!

Shake it shake it baby
Shake it shake it baby
Shake it shake it mama
Shake it Calligraphers
Shake it shake it baby
Shake it shake it shake it shake it...

Uh, yeah, uh, Erica in tha house, uh yeah
Joi, Quiche definately in tha house hahaha
Brian, Linda, Pat
Hey, you know Moya is up in this
Estefa, where you at
Yeah, Nickih, Milon always up to no good
Even Fae tryin to get a piece baby
Heebs, sistadream where ya at? yeah
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Nickkih on June 26, 2014, 04:35:48 PM
Holy Smokes that was awesome! And you put me in your rap (I'm always up to no good or saying words I really shouldn't)

You Rock Schin 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Heebs on June 26, 2014, 04:40:17 PM
Schin you rock! I'm dying over here ;D this is too much fun haha I wish I had time to make one right now. This weekend though  ;)
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: patweecia on June 26, 2014, 04:42:57 PM
Rockstars. All of you! Woohoo!

Schin, i seriously think you a rap album will fly :p

Moya, i'd love to see a vid of you doing the mc hammer run :p

♥️♥️♥️ to all of you rockstars!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Milonguera on June 26, 2014, 04:55:47 PM
I'm blown away.   ;D  This is one thing I'm not EVEN gonna try!  You go, Schin! 
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Linda Y. on June 26, 2014, 04:56:50 PM
Schin you rock! I'm dying over here ;D this is too much fun haha I wish I had time to make one right now. This weekend though  ;)


Bring it on!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Heebs on June 26, 2014, 05:33:44 PM
Schin you rock! I'm dying over here ;D this is too much fun haha I wish I had time to make one right now. This weekend though  ;)


Bring it on!

 8)
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Moya on June 26, 2014, 07:48:14 PM
I'm dying of laughter!  You are the greatest bunch of calligraphers EVER.

(Nobody will EVER see me doing the Hammer dance. EVER.  You know those stereotypes about how white people can't dance?  Those were based on me.  All of them. I wouldn't inflict that sight on any of you, I like you all too much.)

Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: SueL on June 26, 2014, 10:39:04 PM
This is hilarious! Who'd da thought calligraphy and rap could go together?
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: AndyT on June 27, 2014, 06:20:39 AM
Thank you everybody, this thread has been so entertaining!  Me, I wouldn't know where to start.  :)
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Erica McPhee on June 27, 2014, 02:51:33 PM
Calligraphers... knows how to party
Calligraphers... knows how to party
In the flourish forum of USA
In the flourish forum of good ol' Oz
In the flourish forum, the city of England
We keep it dashy! We keep it slanted!

Now let me welcome everybody to the wild, wild west
A forum that's untouchable like John Decollibus
The script hits ya eyes like a nib to ya chest
Pack an inkwell for your bride in the forum of sex
We in that sunshine studio where that bomb ass flourishes be
The forum where ya never find a secretary desk empty
And scribes be on a mission for them greens
Lean mean envelope-makin-machines servin bride's mothers
I been in the game for ten years makin place cards freak
Ever since honeys was using obliques
Now it's 2014 and they clock me and watch me
Nibs shinin lookin like I robbed Liberace
It's all good, from Diego to tha Bay
Your forum is tha bomb if your script makin way
Throw up a nib if ya feel the same way
Schin puttin it down for
Flourish forum-a!

Shake it shake it baby
Shake it shake it baby
Shake it shake it mama
Shake it Calligraphers
Shake it shake it baby
Shake it shake it shake it shake it...

Uh, yeah, uh, Erica in tha house, uh yeah
Joi, Quiche definately in tha house hahaha
Brian, Linda, Pat
Hey, you know Moya is up in this
Estefa, where you at
Yeah, Nickih, Milon always up to no good
Even Fae tryin to get a piece baby
Heebs, sistadream where ya at? yeah

I am literally CRYING I am laughing so hard. This thread just made my life! I step away for 24 hours ...  ;D LOL!

P.S. I think I need to make up t-shirts that say, "We keep it dashy!"
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Erica McPhee on June 27, 2014, 02:52:41 PM
Lastly, when I finish this issue of Dasherie - GAME ON!  ;)
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Estefa on June 27, 2014, 03:02:48 PM
Awesome, funny, super-creative thread :D!! And thanks for including me in this, Schin ;)!!!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: elsa.d on June 27, 2014, 10:50:07 PM
Get ready for your mind to be BLOWN!
I'm about to blow the roof off this FORUUUUUUUUUUM!!!!


Copperplate rules be too strict
parameters confinin
I play it fast, play it loose
The game I'm redefinin

So while you're playin it safe
just copyin trhe masters
I'm keepin it fresh
I'ma blow it thru the rafters

You think you somethin special
with dem 55 degree slanties
ya'll gotta unbunch
dem copperplate panties

My baseline be bouncy
and I angle where I please
so sit back, relax
and enjoy the script tease

Take your stuffy boy Spencie
and your uptight ladies hand
Cuz I'm servin up my modern ways
Hot and on demand

You think you so fancy
with your custom obliques
I got the plastic speedball
and can shut you up for weeks

You think you so nice
with  your vintage nib caches
gimme hiro 700's
and I'll blow you all to ashes

I be blowin thru dem 'vlopes
like twenty fo seven
the recipients be like
"She's an angel sent from heaven"

My writin be fly
buy my writin ain't free
I ain't no Joi Hunt
this ain't no charity

you aint payin, I ain't playin
gotta show da bills to get my quills

Gonna take you all week
to process my sick rhymes
go tell it to yo mamma
while I go spread some tines!


Elsa Out
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: joi on June 27, 2014, 10:52:24 PM
OMG ELSA!!!!!!!
WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!!!!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Linda Y. on June 27, 2014, 10:57:55 PM
Go Elsa, go Elsa!

Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Milonguera on June 27, 2014, 11:10:20 PM
oH MY GOD--Elsa!!!  Laughing so hard! 
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: schin on June 27, 2014, 11:23:25 PM
Oh my god I just DIED LOL
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: ultraQuiche on June 28, 2014, 12:38:26 AM
They see me scrollin
They hatin
Patrolling they tryin to catch me writin’ dirty
Tryin to catch me writin’ dirty
Tryin to catch me writin’ dirty…

Of my script I’m proud
I be swankin it
They hopin that they gon catch me writin’ dirty
Tryin to catch me writin’ dirty
Tryin to catch me writin’ dirty…



Police think they can catch my point unCLEAN
Hairlines so thin they ain't easy to be SEEN
When you see me write they can see the GLEAM
And my shine on the desk and the lightbox SCREEN
Write with a new chick, she like hold up
Next to the playstation controller is a full shot of OAK GALL


Turn a full stop to a COMMA
Girl you ain't know, I'm slick like Joe ViTOLO
An smashin scribe with no vows of CHASTITY
Nib don’t wipe itself so I pull in all the LADIES
Modernists patrolling you know they HATE ME
Music turned all the way up until the MAXimum
I can speak for some nibbas tryin to jack poor man’s MUSSELman
But we packin some 303, can’t afford da PrinciPALITY


Security cell, I'm grippin OAK GALL
Speakers be blarin and my corners I’m SQUARIN
Twist and twistin dat PEN staff
Police pull up from behind and I stick it in his THROAT
Nibba’s all down gotta stop this new POLLUTION
Their ‘spression change nibbas like who is that enGROSSIN?
This the Emperor Quiche n’ we out n we be GUILDIN!!

Got mail in every city except Fort Crack and I'm still ain't losin

Y’all nibbas reppin’ the engrossers’ crib yo
Listen up, these new agers thinkin they be Hiros
Dem modernists be wrong, da hood still STRONG
Y’all try an f*** wid us for a second too LONG
We gone put those 41’s where they don’t BELONG




Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: elsa.d on June 28, 2014, 12:48:05 AM
Quiche...that was true gangsta. I might be scared of you now.
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Heebs on June 28, 2014, 02:49:10 AM
I bow down to elsa.d  ;D that was so good haha
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Erica McPhee on June 28, 2014, 08:54:23 AM
Oh my! Elsa in the house!!!

UltraQuiche be playin' it!

Unreal! And gives new meaning to the word hilarious!  ;D
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: elsa.d on June 28, 2014, 03:13:10 PM
My ends I ain't been squarin
That's gotcha running scar-ed
Engrossers all be glarin
They nostrils all be flarin
They can't stop people from starin
First my letters they'll be sharin
Then my threads they'll be wearin

Breakin rules right and left
Say I ain't got no respect
Been kicked outta IAMPETH
only thing I ain't guilty of is old timey style theft!
 
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: tintenfuchs on June 28, 2014, 04:03:05 PM
You, ladies and gents, are geniuses.
Seriously.
And this:
Quote
ya'll gotta unbunch
dem copperplate panties
I now want to produce a copperplate lingerie line. How about it, Erica? Let's make lingerie instead of dasherie ;D
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Linda Y. on June 28, 2014, 04:23:42 PM
My ends I ain't been squarin
That's gotcha running scar-ed
Engrossers all be glarin
They nostrils all be flarin
They can't stop people from starin
First my letters they'll be sharin
Then my threads they'll be wearin

Breakin rules right and left
Say I ain't got no respect
Been kicked outta IAMPETH
only thing I ain't guilty of is old timey style theft!


DISSED!! You penmen/penwomen gonna take this?!  ;D
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: elsa.d on June 28, 2014, 09:42:08 PM
So we gonna flourish the hell outta this bird


I basically died laughing when I read this
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: joi on June 29, 2014, 10:02:28 AM
i'm sure i'm not the only one who has read this thread soooo many times!!!  elsa, my hat's off to ya girl!  the bit about copperplate panties gets me every time!!!
love you all!!!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Briana on June 29, 2014, 11:46:47 AM
If you're having pen problems I feel bad for you, son,
I got 99 problems but a pen ain't one

This is going to be stuck in my head all day now!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: AnasaziWrites on June 29, 2014, 05:29:41 PM
There Be Masters in the House

(https://theflourishforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi884.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fac50%2Fanasazisphotos%2Frapper4.jpg&hash=2dd3773121a6559dd1eb586786b371dd) (http://s884.photobucket.com/user/anasazisphotos/media/rapper4.jpg.html)


No One Can Do It Better
Than the infamous four
Doin' the Slim Shady
Since '44

Enta'd the Stage
By All Means Necessary
swingin' Liquid Swords
on Paper Thin stationary

Blueprint--Strictly Business
Get Rich or Die Tryin'
Still not a Player?
then Goin' off Cryin'.

Whut?
Do You Want More?


that be our 50 cent.
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Nickkih on June 29, 2014, 05:32:53 PM
I'm sorry but Mike that is the funniest shi* I've ever seen or read. I'm laughing my butt off over here.
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Moya on June 29, 2014, 07:18:45 PM
Oh my God, what a way to start Monday morning at work.  You guys are brilliant.  Brilliant.  Represent, yo.
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: elsa.d on June 29, 2014, 10:26:27 PM
That photo Mike... I. Cannot. Stand it!!!!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Erica McPhee on June 29, 2014, 11:11:07 PM
I just spit iced tea onto my keyboard when I scrolled down and saw that amazing photo! LOL!  ;D
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Linda Y. on August 13, 2014, 12:18:47 PM
Bumping this thread for bluestockingpen / Abby  ;)
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: bluestockingpen on August 13, 2014, 01:44:08 PM
Ha! This is amazing. Thanks for the reference, Linda! Too funny... maybe calligraphy and rap do go together after all...  ;)
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Linda Y. on August 13, 2014, 03:00:07 PM
Re-reading everything still makes me LOL! This thread was just epic.
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Jenny Muffler on August 26, 2014, 01:41:09 AM
IAMPETH Talent show next year...I'm just sayin'.    I wanna see this performed live:)
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: ultraQuiche on November 01, 2014, 10:12:17 PM
Re-reading myself. Elsa takes the cake though!!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: schin on December 12, 2014, 11:24:17 PM
Inspired by some uptight broad penners lol

------


Because you know
I'm all about that swirl, bout that swirl, no fraktur
I'm all about that swirl, bout that swirl, no quadrata
I'm all about that swirl, bout that swirl, no textura
I'm all about that swirl, bout that swirl...

Yea it's pretty clear, I don't do no broad pen
But I can twist it, twist it
Like I'm supposed to do
Cause I got that curl curl that all the brides chase
And all the right loops in all the right places

I see the computer workin' that Gothic font
We know that sh*t ain't real
C'mon now, make it stop
If you got obliques, obliques, just raise 'em up
Cause every spacing and x-height is perfect
From the bottom to the top

Yeah, my mama she told me don't worry about your script
She says, "Brides like them flourished invites for guests to keep"
You know I won't be using no parallel it's a bore
So if that's what you're into then go ahead and don't flex no more

Because you know
I'm all about that swirl, bout that swirl, no uncial
I'm all about that swirl, bout that swirl, no rotunda
I'm all about that swirl, bout that swirl, no carolingian
I'm all about that swirl, bout that swirl...

I'm bringing spirals backkkkk
Go ahead and tell them ancient scribes that
Na, I'm just playing. I know you think you're baaaad
But I'm here to tell ya
Every inch of your script is perfect from the bottom to the top

Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Heebs on December 13, 2014, 01:46:18 AM
LMAO! wowwww  8)
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Linda Y. on December 13, 2014, 03:05:15 AM
C'mon broadpen folks - you gonna take this?!

I shall remain neutral because.... I swing both ways ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: tintenfuchs on December 13, 2014, 08:35:33 AM
Yeah, my mama she told me don't worry about your script
She says, "Brides like them flourished invites for guests to keep"

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Scarlet Blue on December 13, 2014, 01:08:13 PM
I'm a crusty 'ol Brit, with my broad edge nib....

NO, I will stop here, because I can only think of one word that rhymes with italic. And, like Linda, I also swing both ways!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Roseann on December 14, 2014, 02:52:49 AM
Schin!
That's Great!!

You're awesome!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: jaimelynne on January 16, 2015, 09:07:38 PM
I just stumbled on this thread and I cannot handle it!!!! Dying laughing over here!!!!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Estrella on January 17, 2015, 02:49:54 AM
 8) Thank you everyone for the great laughs!! My abs got a workout reading this thread!!! LOL

I can't rap, but I definitely have a few stuck in my head now for sure.

Calligraphers...know how to party!!!!!  ;)

wooot wooot!!!!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Perfectsettings on January 21, 2015, 02:55:21 PM
I grew up in the projects.  I was always told women shouldn't rap, smoke and I won't say what the last one was.  At any rate, you ladies put most paid rappers to shame. 
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Moya on January 21, 2015, 06:23:36 PM
Yo, Schin Shady...

I’m bringing broad pen back
Them pointed writers don’t know how to act
You know you're special but we're behind your back
So turn around and we'll pick up the slack.

Inky babe
You see these Tape nibs
Brush pens, wide nibs, let's engrave
Foundation, Fraktur, yeah we misbehave
It’s just your points that make me feel this way


Oh Madarasz
(Go ahead, be gone with it)
Yeah Platt
(Go ahead, be gone with it)
Oh Mr Musselman
(Go ahead, be gone with it)
Drinks on Schin
(Go ahead, be gone with it)
Let me see what yo flourishing with
(Go ahead, be gone with it)
Look at those nibs
(Go ahead, be gone with it)
Broad pen makes me smile
(Go ahead, be gone with it)
Go ahead
(Go ahead, get down with it)
And get your broad pen on
(Go ahead, get down with it)

Get your broad pen on
(Go ahead, be gone with it)

Get your broad pen on


I’m bringing broad pen back
Them old penmen just don’t know how to act
Come let us make up for the things you lack (oooh)
'Cause your nibs are snappin off, but ours are gonna last

Take 'em to the bridge!

I’m bringing broad pen back
Yo copperplaters, watch how I attack
If pointed pen's your thing, best watch your back
Cause we'll mix it up for you and that’s a fact!


I'm so sorry.

Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Linda Y. on January 21, 2015, 06:26:20 PM
Quote
Come let us make up for the things you lack (oooh)
'Cause your nibs are snappin off, but ours are gonna last


Yeah! *bows down*
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: elsa.d on January 21, 2015, 07:10:40 PM
MOYA!!!!! Hahahaha killing it!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: schin on January 21, 2015, 07:39:22 PM
goddammit sonofa
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: elsa.d on January 21, 2015, 07:39:42 PM
Because you know
I'm all about that swirl, bout that swirl, no fraktur
'

This line, stuck in my head, all the time!
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Erica McPhee on January 22, 2015, 02:31:31 AM
LOL Moya!!!

Favorite line: I'm so sorry.

 ;D
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Moya on January 22, 2015, 02:56:56 AM
LOL Moya!!!

Favorite line: I'm so sorry.

 ;D


hahaha!  I didn't want to do it ... I had to stand up for my first love, broad pen.  Even though I've barely picked one up in months.  That sexy, sexy pointed pen has corrupted me, I tell you ;)
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Raayynuh on February 24, 2015, 05:09:17 PM
Umm, just found this thread and I am so glad I did. What talent! It's a little unfair how ya'll are already super talented in calligraphy and now you're rappers to?!

Winning.  :P
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Faeleia on February 26, 2015, 03:38:35 AM
What up what up folkssssssssssssssssss!! DJ Fae be back in da house for some jam yo!

Some words from the author: (in a country accent)"Dis song.. be a sad song. A sad love song, yannoe. For dose lonely damned days.. with a shrivelly paper.. ain't got no words in dem mind..a country rapper with a guitar and red snapper.. chillin w a dog out in the front porch."

"You ready?!!!!!!!!!

Just pick up the beat y'all
don't hesitate no mo!
Stick dem tiny nibs in now,
and let dat ink flo'!

Put a swish to the left
And swivel to the right
Got a splatter? That's no prob,
Call it star galactic sight!

Got a stabby nib?
Now, that's a real rap battle,
Ruination, condemnation...
..we got a score now to settle!

Don't get me wrong yo,
while it ain't no heavy metal
but it's gonna break dat little heart
of H.P Behrensmeyer!

Acid's gonna sting, yeowch!
No, don't drip gall on the couch!
Fix it, wipe it, smudge it, no, erase- nah
Toss it and don't pout!

Badda bing badda boom
We will nuke this babadook!
Take it to the godforsaken land of
friggin Nincompoop!

Grummy's got this potent potion
from exotic Arabia!
Maybe now our letter will finally
not end with just a 'Dear..'!"

Piss out. y'all
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: Sandeeee on May 03, 2015, 08:24:59 AM
Just found this thread at the Flourish Forum Favorite Threads and this thread definitely made my day :))
Title: Re: Calligraphy rap diss thread!
Post by: chiarag on May 03, 2015, 01:31:49 PM
 ;D