Flourishing guidance ...

[AEN82]

Hello all,

     I'm trying to get some additional guidance and insight on flourishes for a word I've been playing around with. The attached image is several, in a long line of attempts to try and make this word look right. I've read the forums and the information has reaffirmed some of what I already know, but I'm having trouble understanding if I'm on the right track.

So here are some of my questions :

Looking at the word as a whole, is the design legible?
Are the flourishes in the right place to be aesthetically pleasing, without muting the word or the flourishes?
What can I add or should I take anything away, to make this a stronger design?

Any and all constructive feedback is welcome.

PS : I know the lighting is horrible, I used my phone. I Know better than to use it, but I just wanted a quick reference shot.

[Erica McPhee]

You have a wonderful start! I had to look the word up! Here are my thoughts:

In pencil, it is not clear that the L is actually an L. I thought it was a flourish initially. If you extend it a bit taller, I think it would read better as an L.
While I LOVE the s, it seems to break apart the word so that cence seems like it isn't part of the word. I think this is further separated because the c then flourishes into the e. It may work better to have a flourish start from (but not necessarily touching) the s and then proceed into the c. Then you would not have such a break.

But overall, it is really lovely and has a very pleasing design aesthetic!

[Elisabeth_M]

I like the balance of the design--in particular the flourishes coming from the top of the L and the bottom of the e, and the way that "NOUN" is placed. I agree with Erica about the L.  In fact, I didn't realize there was an L until I read Erica's comment.  I think the issue for me there is the connection to the E.  It looks beautiful, but somehow it looks like a swirl from the E comes up through the word rather than the L being a letter in its own right.  I also agree that the cence looks too separated from the rest of the word, but I am wondering if the overall balance will be thrown off if you change the S and its flourish too much.  What if you had a lead-in stroke coming from near the s on the same baseline of the c and then into the c?  I think also, the flourish from the c into the e makes the cence seem self-contained, so maybe remove that?